How I Beat My Fear of Flying: One Photographer's Honest Journey to Freedom
Looking out the window flying to Spain
How I Beat My Fear of Flying: One Photographer's Honest Journey to Freedom
I once sat at home with my suitcase packed too paralysed by fear to make it to the airport.
If you've read my Monthly Travel Challenge 2025, you already know I wasn't always a confident flyer. In fact, I didn't even get on a plane last year to fly to Perpignan. Instead, I paid an extra £200 and took a twenty seven hour journey by car, coach, and train. Why? My fear of flying was that intense.
I live just 10 minutes from Birmingham International, directly under a flight path. Planes pass overhead daily, and even that unsettles me. If you feel freaked out by air travel, I understand.
This fear can be debilitating and has caused me to miss opportunities, adventures, and moments lost like tears in the rain.
But this year, I made a choice: to do something about it.
What I'm sharing in this blog isn't a cure. It's a very honest account of what's working for me right now.
As I write this, I'm about to board a solo flight to Marrakesh in six days. Solo. Flying. I’d never ever thought that I would be doing that.
What Is Aviophobia, Really?
Aviophobia is literally the overwhelming fear of flying and it affects around 1 in 10 people in the UK. For me, it's a deeply rooted phobia, with intrusive thoughts and panic.
Why are so many of us afraid to fly?
It often has little to do with actual danger. For many, it’s a learned response or shaped by stories, media, and a general sense of the unknown.
In earlier generations, flying was a rare, almost intimidating experience. It wasn’t something people did casually or often. That sense of unfamiliarity, combined with a lack of exposure, made flying feel more like a risk than a routine. For me, that mindset filtered down as something I absorbed without questioning. It became a part of my wiring.
I had to really analyse this and be honest with myself in order to start unpicking it.
Before a flight, I used to experience weeks of nervous anticipation, what-ifs circling in my mind, sleep disruption, my mood was unsettled. On the plane, I’d be on high alert, tuning in to every sound or movement like it was my job. My imagination would run wild, trying to prepare for anything, as if control could be found in hyper-awareness.
But over time, I’ve learned that this fear, while loud, isn’t the whole story.
What’s also true is that I made it through those flights. Every single time. And with each one, I became a little stronger, a little more grounded, not because the fear disappeared, but because I stopped letting it drive me.
I would obsess over:
What if the plane crashes?
What if the pilot has a bad day?
What if there's a fault?
What if it rains?
What if I don’t make it?
Each thought led to another, more vicious than the last. That time I didn’t fly to Perpignan, I was sat in the lounge at home with everything prepared at 3am. Instead of calling a cab, I convinced myself I'd be endangering everyone if I followed and then got on the plane.
So I stayed home that night awake and defeated. This was not who I wanted to be, so I promised I would change,
The Two Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself
The first thing I did was to I ask myself two important questions:
“Do I want to get better?” which was a yes.
“What would I do if I could you life without this fear”, travel the world to photograph it, meeting new people.
What I have learned is that it’s important to understand the word fear. There are two kinds, rational and irrational.
Rational fear is biological and instinctual, evolved to protect us from real dangers (e.g., heights, guns, poisonous animals). Though not always accurate, it serves a survival function by prompting quick responses to perceived threats.
Irrational fear stems from sociological and psychological conditioning, not actual danger. It includes fears of judgment, failure, rejection, or self-criticism, and often limits our personal growth and authenticity.
I only mention this above as I had quite literally let irrational thoughts and fears convinced me that a plane is a dangerous environment that needs to be avoided at all costs and lengths due to the threat of life it posed.
That is not true.
This was all based on around what could happen, and I’m not going to lie I have already several times had thoughts to cancel the whole trip to Marrakesh due to negative thoughts.
So now the two questions have been asked, I just need to DO IT!
The First Flight Back
I hadn’t flown since January 2020. After skipping the Perpignan flight in 2024, I booked another five weeks later to Paris.
It was short, 45mins. It was scary. But it was also the first crack in the armor of fear.
I started flying monthly as a kind of self-directed exposure therapy. Like the British Airways or EasyJet courses, but DIY. It has got better the flight to and from Berlin and Pula I didn’t grab the seat, hold anyones hand or get worried about bumps.
I do however, know not everyone can commit to flying or going on trips monthly so would recommend just doing the shortest trip you can as quick as you can so that you can build on that.
If you're curious, those programs I mentioned above are well worth checking out:
Seven Mindset and Actions Shifts That Work For Me
Trust the System Planes are tested. Pilots and engineers are highly trained. Airspace is tightly managed. Trust is essential.
Prioritise Wellbeing No chaos before a flight. I eat well, sleep well, and repeat calming affirmations. No news, no negative TV shows or movies to overstimulate and cause triggers.
Stay Organised I start to prepare a week in advance. I use Amazon Prime for last minute essentials. I pre book my Uber, airport activities, and tours through GetYourGuide, I just need to turn up.
Acknowledge Intrusive Thoughts They're normal. They're not the truth. I learned to acknowledge, breathe, and let them pass and reshape with the truth.
Create a Flight Playlist Music keeps me grounded. I plan my playlist to match flight duration, ending with a familiar song that signals descent.
Watch the Cabin Crew If they’re calm, I’m calm. They’re trained to handle emergencies, I'm not. I also tell them I’m a nervous flyer. They’re usually amazing and supportive. Also listen to the pilot updates, good pilots tell you where you are, what you're flying over, what the weather is like and if there are likely to be any bumps. This helps to reassure me in a big way.
Remember Your Anchor Photography. Every flight is a step closer to a photo I haven’t taken yet and something I’ve not eaten yet!
Photography: My Anchor and My Why
Photography is more than a hobby. It's how I express and connect to the world. When fear creeps in, I picture the shots I want to capture: golden hour in Marrakech, bustling markets, amazing architecture and food.
Each image I imagine is stronger than the fear. I remind myself: Fear won’t get the photo. But I will.
Photography helps me reframe fear into purpose. It pushes me forward, even when I want to cancel everything. When you don’t want to go it’s the most important time to go!
Final Thoughts: Fear Doesn’t Have to Win
I still get scared. I still second guess. But I don’t let fear make the decisions anymore and whilst I’ve booked Marrakesh to go solo for the first time, I have a bigger trip to Japan in December solo so conquering Marrakesh is the first baby step to Japan where I have been dreaming of going forever.
So if your that person who has not got the flight, who's stayed behind while others boarded or just never booked a flight before due to fear, you can do it.
Start where you are. Book that flight. Pack that bag. Get that Tan. Eat the best Food. Chase that photo. Make that Memory.
Your Turn
Have you ever missed a flight because of fear? What helped you take the next step? Share your story in the comments or DM me on Instagram @deanomooreo.